The Great Cream Cheese Challenge!!

Dear Miss Chatty:

I love cream cheese and bagels; in fact, I love any kind of cream cheese variation - with onion, fruit, jam, butter and even peanut butter. I would use Cream Cheese in place of whip cream or even cottage cheese in most recipes. I even have made a Cream Cheese Lasagna. Pea Soup - dabble a little Cream Cheese in it, and it becomes Green Divinity Puree. Now, I challenge you to tell me of a cheese that's creamier and more useful than this - and don't tell me Ricotta, that gritty, salty buffalo's muck they use to ruin so many great dishes.

Cream Cheese Nutty in Val Du Blachez, WI

Dear Nutty:

I greet your challege with the full bodied sentiment of a drag-queen on fire. Not only is Cream Cheese dull compared with my contender, but it wouldn't hold up on a Lender's bagel. My dear, if you have never tried Marscapone, you do not deserve to call yourself a gormand, yet alone a Cheese lover. Marscapone is so creamy and light, it makes any dish a veritable Louis Quatorze treat. Mix it with sugar and strawberries, and a little liquor, and you have the finest desert known to womynkind. So the next time you challenge Miss Chatty to a dairy duel, be prepared with something more substantial than Cream Cheese - puleeze!