Having found the most perfect vacation spot, I offered to take my friend Charles there on a holiday. It was in a place called Cabo San Lucas in Mexico. Everything was pefect, but he complained of the heat, the sand, the sun, the water, the food and the locals. The latter annoyed me to no end, as I am firm believer in human rights - so when he refered to them as the MexiPeons, I was mortified. All this quite ruined my time. Now, Charles has told everyone that we are a couple - as we vacationed together - and that he had a perfect time - which I know he did not. How do I handle this?
Sunburnt in Fargo
Dear Sunburnt:
I wish all my readers sent me problems this easy to resolve. As a so-called couple ,you can take liberties with him in public that I am sure will mortify him - so do it. Mortify him. Invite him to a party where most of the guests are people of color. Introduce him to several relatives who you find obnoxious. Every time he has something scheduled, schedule something else - something you know he doesn't like. Then after two weeks of that, go home - sit by the phone and wait for him to NOT call. Problem solved. Except, you should find a way to reward him for ruining your vacation. My bet is you have lousy photographs of him having a terrible time in Mexico. Post them on an internet page with funny quips and get it linked out to your mutual friends. Use PhotoShop to make them more ludicruos. Make sure he gets the link - and I think he'll get the hint.
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